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The list of articles published over the past few months.. Most of us took the tortured road of youthful idiotic leftism before we understood that human nation cannot be changed and the only way to enforce leftist-liberal redistribution is through terror. It is not as long as Hugh Hefner's pompous opus, but then again, we did not write it in pijamas waited upon hand and foot by All-American beauties. Still, liberal domination of political humor must end. Most of these are still funny, as when we had a picture of Fidal Castro bawling because he was scheduled to host the 1990 Dictator's Ball, and so many had fallen the previous two years. Also has the classic, first-ever-in print demand to end Christmas as a legal holdiay, accurately forecasting idiocies of libs 10 years ahead of time. |
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(This was composed well before the Newt Gingrich revolution of 1994. What hopes that earthquake brought to all of us, right? Only to be ground into dust, alas. Now that the Republicans in Congress are as rabid as the Democrats to spend our money on their pet projects and for the loudest mouths or deepest pockets in their constituencies, my original idea to reign in Congress ought to be revived, I think.)
The American people should take advantage of modern computer and video technology to re-gain control of their Federal Government. For 200 years, Americans have been electing a parade of idealists, fools, knaves, crooks, along with a few honest folk, to Congress -- in other words, people just like them. That is democracy. There's no way to change that.
There is a way to change one key ingredient, however. We don't have to send them off to Washington anymore. We should keep them home, where we can keep an eye on them. No matter how many promises they make as candidates, once our congressmen and senators slip across the Potomac River, powerful political leaders and lobbyists start tugging on their sleeves, pulling them into cubbyholes and corridors, whispering into upraised eyes, slipping sweet praise and promises into eager ears. Sure, these politicians may make weekly trips back to their districts where they affect a down-home look, but then they'll hurry back to their true new home, the best place to mine money for their endless campaigning. The technology already exists to institute this reform. Businesses across America are now using teleconferencing to hold meetings among its far-flung executives and managers, radically cutting the costs of their operations and raising efficiency. The United States Information Agency uses teleconferencing to link up foreign journalists around the globe with key U.S. Government officials. Larry King does it nightly. There is no reason why Congress can't do the same. Therefore, the Constitution should be amended immediately to require that congressmen and senators reside in their home states full time. Under my proposal, each state will set up an office in its capitol for its two senators, and in each of its congressional districts for representatives. Every office will have sufficient two-way video technology so that the elected official and his aides could attend every session of the House or Senate and each committee assignment that the member has. Similarly, Democrats could caucus with Democrats, Republicans with Republicans. The Speaker of the House, before a bank of 435 TV screens, would hold the buttons during each House session, pushing them in turn to give each representative his or her one minute of fame with C-Span. The House Majority and Minority leaders and their whips would use computers to coordinate their debate. It would work the same in the Senate, although the vice president would have to handle just 100 TVs -- and just think how much more comfortable filibusters will be for senators, from the sanctity of their offices and liquor bars. They could use the old-fashion telephone for any confidential exchanges -- we all know that 80 percent of business gets handled by telephone anyway. There's no reason that the American taxpayer has to pay for all those expenses of Washington anymore. And, to make sure the varmints stay in place, no vote would be valid, either in the grand chamber or in committee, unless it is registered in the senator's or congressman's state office, validated by his fingerprint. The White House, along with the Cabinet and all their offices, will be linked with the system as well, of course. A representative or senator would be able to punch in a number into his computer, and his TV would immediately light up with the face of the person he was calling -- well, his administrative assistant, anyway. Ask yourself this question -- what is actually done in Washington that would be handled better under the old system than under the teleconferencing system. Sure, we can let them go to Washington once or twice a year, to at least use those fancy buildings they've built for themselves. A two-week trip in January would be acceptable, to meet each other and listen to the President's State of the Union speech in person. We could perhaps give them another trip in the autumn at the end of each session -- if they've been good boys and girls. Otherwise, keep them home. Who will hate this reform? o Leaders of the Senate and the House, who will not be able to influence and/or threaten their minions as easily. o Lobbyists, who will not be able to stampede the 535 buffaloes as readily, nor will they be able to hunt down individual buffaloes, separate them from the herd and lasso them off into a private gully for special massaging. o The White House, if the President is of the same party as the majority. o Congressional staffers, all 35,000 of them, most of whom may to D.C. out of idealism, but who soon come to see the obvious, that they are far more intelligent and perceptive than the constituents who pay their salaries. o Most of all, the senators and congressmen themselves -- why did most of them run for office, if not to get the hell out of their state and reach a position of prestige and comfort. Who will love this innovation: only one type of individual, the sad sack taxpayer. Therefore, this reform has no chance of passage. If only it could pass, however, taxpayers would be able to keep a much better watch on their representatives. Even more importantly, the congressmen and senators would be forced to really stay in touch with the constituents. Taxpayers would be able to reach them easily, perhaps too easily for the comfort of the elected, if the representatives sold them out. Tar and feathering could come back into style, even. This reform will bring the Federal Government back to the people. Congressmen will walk the streets of their districts, send their children to its schools, shop at its supermarkets, drive through he local congestion, fear the same criminals, maybe even get their hair cut at the local barbershop, if Cristophe does not have a franchise in the state. They will see directly how new taxes whomp their constituents, and they will have no where to run if voters react angrily. A few enterprising taxpayer groups might want to construct gallows across the street from congressional offices where representatives are connected to their counterparts by TV, as a joking reminder of the power of the people. Congressmen will find it hard to lie, under this system. If new taxes are truly necessary, congressional candidates will have to be forthright in proposing them during their campaigns, knowing they would have to face voter wrath RIGHT OUTSIDE THEIR OFFICES, rather than from far across the country. No longer will congressional winners "discover" a worse financial mess than anyone suspected 24 hours after the polling is over, which "unfortunately" necessitates new taxes, i.e., once the winner has safely fled inside the protective moat of the Potomac River, cutting Washington off from the rest of America. C-Span, those two marvelous public TV channels that give voters a 24-hour view of Washington in operation, is fine as far as it goes. But it is only one-way. Callers can lob in verbal bombs across the telephone lines, but they burst without effect against the Washington ramparts. We have to drag our congressmen back home. Ask your congressman what he thinks of this proposal. Demand a real reason why he or she should oppose it. Listen carefully, though. Most of the reasons will come down to this: "I wanna live in Washington. I wanna be a big shot in Washington, and I want you, the taxpayer, to pay for it." Enough. Let's modernize.
© Sparta Group International
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